Scared as Hell - The Night Before my Coronavirus Test

April 14, 2020  •  9 Comments

I wrote this Blog post in the early morning hours before being tested for COVID-19. I had the test at 11:30am, and recorded a video of my unexpected, very emotional reaction which I'll share with you in my next post, as well as on social media as I think it's important to see what it really feels like to go through it. We're all experiencing this pandemic in different ways. How are you dealing with it? Please feel free to share in the comments.

I'd like to thank all of you who reached out to me during this challenging time. It truly means the world to me and my family. Stay well!

 

Scared as Hell - The Night Before my Coronavirus Test

Waiting-for-Coronavirus-TestWaiting-for-Coronavirus-TestSan Francisco Bay Area photographer Cheryl Bigman in self-quarantine waiting for results of her coronavirus test.

 

It's 2:27am on Tuesday, April 14, 2020. I can't sleep and I'm scared as hell. After two weeks of feeling "off", I finally had to admit to my aging parents that I can no longer do their grocery shopping or run errands, and it's time to get help. Things just got real.

 

Symptoms

My symptoms started with a weird dry sore throat that felt like I swallowed gravel. Then a low grade fever off and on, body aches, headache, fatigue, and a dry cough that got progressively deeper in my chest. Being asthmatic, I knew it was time to call my doctor. Thankfully, I have the BEST! She's been closely monitoring me for the last 6 days, and yesterday she decided I should be tested for COVID-19.

 

Is it Enough?

Keep in mind, for the last 2 weeks, I wore a mask every time I went out. I used antiviral disinfecting wipes on everything before I brought it into the house, I wiped down all surfaces in my car, in my house, even the bottom of my shoes! I washed my hands until they cracked from being so dry. But if I end up having the big one, I caught it despite following all the guidelines. And I know I'm not the only one. Can't help but wonder if we all should have started doing this much sooner.

 

2nd Guessing

I can't tell you how many times I second-guessed myself before finally reaching out for help. When that fever suddenly disappears, you think, oh, it's all in my head. I'm just being paranoid. But when my asthma kicked in and I realized my rescue inhaler (which I haven't used in 2 years) had expired, I got scared. I called my Asthma doctor's office, but was told they couldn't refill my prescription without scheduling a telemedicine appointment. The first available was in three days! Really? My primary doctor refilled it immediately. These are the times when I am SO thankful to have a proactive health care provider!

 

Deep Dive Tomorrow

Covid-19Covid-19Covid-19 the novel coronavirus.

Tomorrow morning at 11:30am, I've been instructed to drive to my local hospital where they just started offering drive-up tests this week for the dreaded deep-dive nose swab. They're telling me my doctor will get the results in 48 hours. To be honest, I'm not sure what's worse - finding out I have it and worrying about things going downhill, or finding out I don't have it and still not being able to help out my parents because I'm sick with something else.

 

Unknowns

We're all still dealing with so much uncertainty which is stressful enough. But I have to admit, this totally threw me off my game! I'm pretty good at distracting myself with work (yes, still working on your albums, etc...), but if I'm being totally honest, I've really struggled with all of the unknowns...

 

  • My daughter is still at college out of state doing online classes, and may not come home.
  • My business calendar is completely cleared through the end of July.
  • I feel for all of you who have no idea when to reschedule your events.
  • More and more of you are losing loved ones, so I'm combing through all my event photos to send you what may be the last pictures you have of them.

 

I'll Keep you Posted

I know I've been completely MIA on social media for the last 2 weeks which is not like me at all! I just needed time to focus on figuring out what to do next. I'll hop on a Facebook and Instagram Live to give you an update as soon as I get my results. In the meantime, PLEASE stay vigilant and take good care of yourselves. I'm thinking about all of you and would love to hear how you're doing!

 


Comments

Ari Goodwine Fisher(non-registered)
Thinking about you, Cheryl!! Please let us know how you are doing. Lots of love from our whole family!!
Claire Wolfe(non-registered)
OMG. I would rush to your home to hug you but ......CyberHugs and know you are in my heart and prayers. Your beautiful photos of my family are in every room of my home. I can only imagine your pain. Love to you. Claire
Tawna Brown(non-registered)
Thank you Cheryl for sharing your personal story, your raw emotions. I send you my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult and trying time, and also hope you can reunite with your parents soon (and hope they have access to other people in their community who can lend a helping to them). Life is certainly not going to go back to what we once thought was "normal," or at least not for a long time time still. Until then, I hope we can all get stronger together, as we connect and support each other. Big hugs and loving vibes directed your way! I truly hope you are ok, as well as your family and loved ones.
Cheryl Bigman Photography
Thank you everyone for your kind words and wishes. It means so much!
Lisa Gross(non-registered)
Sending you lots of love, prayers and hope that you feel better and recover soon. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I would love to send you, and your parents, meals and/or do your shopping. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
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